He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
