I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
