you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
