I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
