the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
