Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize