The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
