I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
