I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize