i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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