if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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