they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
