ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
