At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
