I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
