I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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