i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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