Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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