He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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