I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize