We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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