jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
