How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
