Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
