Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
