Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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