i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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