Already got asked if we're dating
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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