New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
