She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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