honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize