i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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