How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
