So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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