just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
