Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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