I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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