I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i already hear my dad disowning me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
