YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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