Just cropdusted the office
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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