I cannot find my penis.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize