u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Terrible idea I love it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
