he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
