let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pants are for mortals
false alarm, still single
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
