Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
