you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
