She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
