Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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