It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize