Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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