Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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