so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We have started to decorate penises.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
