If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize