Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
