Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize