He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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