Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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