This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
