Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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