i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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